Insecure is a feeling of anxiety, inadequacy, and lack of self-confidence that makes a person feel insecure. As a result, someone who is insecure may feel jealous, always ask what other people think about him, or even try to show off his strengths.
Feeling insecure is something that is actually normal. However, in some people, this feeling of insecurity occurs continuously. This condition can arise due to bad experiences, wrong perspectives, having a melancholic personality, or a perfectionist nature.
Symptoms and Signs of Insecure
There are several symptoms that can indicate a person has feelings of insecurity, namely:
1. Trying to make other people feel insecure
People who have feelings of insecurity generally always try to make the other person or other person feel insecure. Usually, this is done by the sufferer by always showing his strengths to look great in front of others.
2. Showing off covertly
Someone who is insecure often shows off or brags, but by humbling himself or complaining (humblebrag). For example, they complain of being tired after travelling to various places or countries because of their work.
3. Telling about their achievements every time
Someone who is insecure has feelings of inferiority or inferiority towards others. This feeling of inferiority encourages them to always tell the things they have achieved.
For example, they can talk about his lavish lifestyle or his high level of education. This is done to convince others that their life is perfect.
4. Blame yourself when things don’t go perfectly
Someone who is insecure wants a high education, the best job, and everything is perfect. When they don’t get what they want, they will be disappointed and tend to blame themselves.
5. Have thin trust in others
Someone who is insecure tends to be more jealous in dealing with their partner, for example, often peeking at incoming messages on their partner’s cellphone.
Because they have little trust in other people, they will often make sure the information they get is correct and be suspicious. This makes it difficult for them to have good relationships with other people.
Causes of Insecure
Insecure can arise due to bad experiences, negative views of yourself or the result of having principles that want everything to be perfect. Here is the explanation:
1. Experiencing failure or rejection
Research has shown that the experience of being rejected or failing to achieve what you want can make a person view himself and others in a negative light. Feelings of insecurity are also often experienced by people who have daddy issues.
2. Getting a bad rating from others
Insecurity can arise because they have been judged as lacking or not good by others when socializing. This is what causes insecure sufferers to tend to avoid social activities.
3. Wants everything to be perfect (perfectionist)
In people who are perfectionists, feelings of insecurity can arise when things don’t happen as expected. As a result, they will feel disappointed and constantly blame themselves.
Risk Factors Insecure
Feelings of insecurity are common to everyone. However, there are several factors that can make a person more at risk of experiencing insecurity, namely:
Suffering from mental disorders
Some types of mental disorders that sufferers tend to experience symptoms of insecurity are:
- Eating disorders
- Anxiety disorders
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Borderline personality disorder
- Paranoid personality disorder
Experiencing a traumatic event
Feelings of insecurity also tend to occur in someone who has experienced a traumatic event, such as:
- Failed to build a relationship
- A loved one is left behind
- Fired from work
- Got a disease
- Pressure from parents
When to go to the doctor
Consult a psychologist or psychiatrist if the insecurity you experience persists and feels very disturbing or is accompanied by symptoms of mental disorders.
They can help you understand where your feelings of insecurity are coming from and determine your condition, as well as determine the appropriate treatment method for dealing with it.
How to Overcome Insecure
Allowing feelings of insecurity to linger can cause problems with physical and mental health. In addition, your relationship with those around you can also be disrupted. This of course will have an impact on daily activities and work.
To overcome the feeling of insecurity and prevent it from continuing, do a number of ways below:
- Get rid of negative thoughts
Focus on positive things you’ve done in the past, such as helping a neighbour carry things or helping a friend with chores. That way, you don’t think too much about your shortcomings or negative things.
- Receive unwanted results
Try to accept things that don’t go your way by assuming that they are normal in life. For example, if you are in a situation that makes you feel embarrassed or insecure, try to see it as something funny and laugh at it.
- Turn failure into motivation
Stop hating and blaming yourself if you fail. Don’t see failure as something to be ashamed of, but as an experience that can make you better.
- Spend time with the people closest to you
Spend most of your time with people who love you and stay away from people who make you feel insecure. This will make you more confident and see yourself in a positive light.
- Build self-esteem and self-confidence
Start to enjoy the situation you are in right now and focus on the things you enjoy. Build a feeling of pride in yourself and what you can do. Set the targets to be achieved and prove that you are able to pass the challenge.
Keep in mind, feelings of insecurity are not easy to get rid of. Therefore, you must be patient in carrying out the steps above. Do not give up if you are still experiencing feelings of insecurity. By consistently doing the methods above, the feeling of insecurity will gradually disappear.